hugetractsofland | MCA #1, Monday Evening

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MCA #1, Monday Evening

After class that morning and the field trip that afternoon, Lulu was quite tired by the evening, but still she found herself puttering around the kitchen, not yet ready to end the day. There was tea steeping, just about ready to pour, and of course a plate of baked things out on the counter; Lulu had grabbed a cookie from it and was nibbling as she looked at the papers written in today's class -- although she was by no means ready yet to try grading them. She'd get started on that in the morning.

[Waiting for a visitor in particular, but open for anyone who cares to come by for tea and/or cookies.]

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Aha, a distraction! Lulu swiftly moved to open the door, smiling at who she found there. "Hello, Rikku!" she said. "What a pleasant surprise. Do, come in."

"Hiya!" Rikku said, bouncing on her toes. "Uh. You're not busy or anything, are you? 'Cause I can take off if you are? I just, you know. Wanted to ... come say hi! Or something. Right? But I don't have to."

"Not at all," Lulu said. "Certainly, come in. Would you like something to eat? Tea to drink, perhaps?"

"Ooooh, really?" Rikku wandered into the apartment, bouncing again. As always. "I should've brought something, like, a house-warming thing? Not today, I mean, when you moved in. But I didn't even think of it and it'd be kinda silly to do that now, like, happy housewarming a few months late! I just totally forgot. Uh. Tea's nice. And ... how have you been, and all that?"

Lulu laughed softly, leading Rikku to the kitchen. "I've been... satisfactory, thank you," she replied. "I had a pleasant trip today to the National Gallery of Art, with Professor Rogers's class."

"Oooh, that's right, you mentioned that," Rikku said, nodding. "I probably should've gone, but ... I'm not sure I get art. I think I would've been all 'so how come this one doesn't look like anything?' and then people glare at me."

"I'm certain you'd have found something to interest you," Lulu said. "There really was quite a wide variety of works on display. But if you don't have any interest, there's not much help for that." She poured the tea into two teacups, handing one to Rikku as she leaned against the counter. "And how are things with you?"

"It sounds kinda neat," she said, lifting her teacup. "Maybe I'll go myself sometime. You know, so if I do end up causing problems, it won't disrupt a whole trip or whatever."

She took a careful sip before setting the teacup back down. "I'm ... good, you know?" she said tentatively. "I've been ... thinking about things a lot. And sparring some, with Deadpool. And going to classes, and ... well, you know. Class things. Like with class."

"Indeed," Lulu said. "Was there something in particular about class you wished to ask?"

Rikku blushed at that. "I, uh. I didn't mean to ... I don't want to just ... be all, hey, let me bug you about class. 'Cause ... you know? And ... I'm probably just being stupid anyway. And I've been meaning to come hang out just to ... come and hang out, but things were happening and I didn't get to until now but it kinda seems like I'm just ... here for class and that's ... all rude and stuff, isn't it?"

Lulu laughed. "It's perfectly all right," she said. "Ask away, I won't consider it rude. And then we can get on with your visit."

"The, uh. The thing today, with people who like pain and animals, and last week with ... plastic ... fake-things, that's ..." Rikku shifted awkwardly. "People do that? I don't ... get it. There's not even really a question. It's. I don't understand. People love each other, so they ... hurt each other and use plastic things? It doesn't make any sense."

Lulu hesitated before answering, taking a sip of her tea before setting the cup and saucer down on the counter. "I'll tackle this week's class in a moment," she said. "In terms of toys... Their use isn't limited to sex between partners, although they do offer variety there. Still, their primary function is to help one achieve pleasure on one's own; it's a form of masturbation."

"Isn't that ... kind of empty?" she said, shrugging a little awkwardly. "I mean, isn't it supposed to be ... more than that? Sex, I mean. It's ... not just, hey, you're cool, I'm bored, it's ..." She fidgeted, staring into her cup.

"For some people, it is," Lulu said. "Some people find themselves uninterested in sex outside of a romantic context, certainly. Others find themselves interested in it for its own sake, for the pleasure of it or the emotional catharsis. It's an important physiological process, too." She smiled softly. "I'm not saying you should go out and buy a basket of toys, because if you're not interested, that's okay. If you are interested, however, that's also okay. Nothing I teach in the class is going to be a perfect fit for every student; you need to find what works for you. I seek merely to offer... options, especially if many of the students are unaware that the options exist in the first place."

"I don't ..." Rikku folded her arms and sat for a moment.

"I miss him," she said softly. "I miss being with him, and ... curling up to fall asleep, and ... all the stupid little bits of it. I miss ... things, with him, but it wasn't ... it wasn't ever, hey, you know, let's ... go do stuff. I shouldn't ..."

"And that's perfectly all right," Lulu said. "Sex isn't just one thing for every person. It is an intensely personal experience in many ways, and only you can decide who you want to have it with, and how much you wish to have it." She took a sip of her tea. "Or, for that matter, how you wish to have it."

"I miss ..." Rikku shook her head. "I hate that I miss ... things. It's not right. I miss him, not just someone to ... you know. Do things with, like that. It makes it all seem stupid and cheap. It's. To go, hey, I miss him, so ..."

"You can't miss both?" Lulu asked. "I know that when I came here... Well, I certainly missed Wakka, for many, many reasons; no matter what our differences at the end, I was certainly... fond of him. Still, one of the reasons I miss him, quite honestly, is the regular sex. One becomes accustomed to it, if one has it frequently, or," and here she made a guess, although she said it just as casually as everything else, "if one has it quite a bit in a small period -- say, a week -- and so even if one otherwise isn't terribly bothered by it, no longer having it can certainly seem a loss."

"I ... is that ... wrong?" Rikku asked. Trying not to blush, and doing a miserable job of it. "To ... miss both, I mean. I've been trying not to, 'cause ... it wasn't just, you know. A thing. And I thought if I did miss it, that made it seem like it was, or ... I dunno."

She took a sip from her tea, still not looking up. "It doesn't help. Trying not to, I mean. It just makes me feel stupid."

Lulu felt a little like she was banging her head against a brick wall, but she didn't betray that with words or tone. "It's not wrong at all," she said. "Rikku, you're young; you have a lot to learn yet about yourself and your body. Trust me when I say that sex, whether as part of a romantic relationship or enjoyed -- safely -- for its own sake, is perfectly natural, and nothing of which to be ashamed."

Rikku nodded. "I, uh. I never had ... I mean. Pops just kinda got all YOU KNOW HOW BOYS ARE, RIKKU and on and on. Boys want things, so knee 'em where it hurts, and ... not anything about, what if I did, too, 'cause ... you know. Guess I'm not supposed to. Ugh. I'm so bad at this. And I can't ..."

She looked up, finally, eyes uncertain. "I thought we were, you know. I mean, there was Bayla, and we were gonna be forever. I know how dumb that sounds. And then there was future-me and I don't ... think I lived in Toronto. I don't think ... it's not ..."

This time she settled for putting her head on the counter. She resisted the urge to bang it a few times. "I'm so bad at this."

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MCA #1, Monday Evening

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